inspiredness TM

Copyright 2013

What was life like before?

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Before the babies, the all-night feeding sessions, the dirty diapers. Before the time when taking a shower every 3-4 days was something I only did when I was camping.

What was life like? Sometimes I have a hard time remembering. I didn’t have to pre-plan when I was going to use the bathroom. I didn’t have to feel rushed to make a meal because I just need the whining and screaming to stop! I didn’t have to sneak upstairs to fold the laundry and hope that I could get five minutes of peace and quiet.

And from what I remember I never really had a problem taking care of myself…at least not the previous couple of years before the babies. I remember sleeping in, taking a hot shower just about every day, eating a meal while sitting down at the table, taking quiet walks, feeling the sweat roll down my back while doing Bikram yoga, stretching my body. All this seemed pretty instinctive before the babies. Now that I’m in the thick of raising these little dependent people I’m having trouble wrapping my brain around what I need to do to take care of myself. I’ve tried to make lists of what I thought were the essentials…getting all the beds made, doing 1-2 loads of laundry a day, planning meals at least a week in advance, organizing all the incoming mail/paperwork/clutter into neat little cubbies with color-coordinated labels. When I reread these lists, however, I began to realize that none of these things are essential to taking care of myself! Rocket science, right?

The problem is, I honestly don’t know if I can tell you! At one point I went to a therapist and she actually had to tell me what I needed to do…eat, drink water, sleep, move. You would think this would be pretty instinctual! But now, I see that list and I think, sure of course I need to eat but there has to be more…what am I missing? What is the key ingredient that will all of a sudden make things run smoothly again? Do I really need to pay someone again to tell me what to do? No, I know I can figure this out myself…but how?

I’ve been called an extremist by my husband. I’m all-or-nothing. If I can’t eat well all the time, I won’t eat at all. If I can’t exercise all the time, I won’t exercise at all. If I can’t sleep all the time, I won’t sleep at all. And the list goes on. I get so angry that I can’t do these things 100% perfect, 100% of the time. It seems that I might be “type A,” a perfectionist…doesn’t it? Sometimes that’s funny to joke about, other times I see these tendencies in my 5-year-old and my 3-year-old and it really worries me. I don’t want them to go through life feeling like if they can’t be perfect they aren’t worthy. I don’t want them to give up easily because they can’t do things right the first time. I don’t want them refrain from making goals or starting projects because they aren’t sure they can see them through in their entirety. I don’t want them to sacrifice their health and well-being. But if they see a role model do all these things how will they learn otherwise?

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Author: Noell Sole - Radiant Living

Noell is a Registered Nurse (RN) and mom of 4 with a passion to help others achieve and maintain optimal health and well being...one step at a time, one day at a time! She has recently partnered with USANA Health Sciences and OneBody International to further increase her potential in helping others with their health & wellness goals!

One thought on “What was life like before?

  1. Momma, don’t be too hard on yourself. I do think it is positive that you are seeing your own flaws and are working to not pass them on to the next generation. That is a wonderful blessing! You also work a full time, never ending job. You don’t really get “lunch” breaks, or 15 minute breaks like out in the world work. You never turn off… which is also beautiful for your kids sake. But maybe it’s about taking small breaks. I do have to tell you there are many of us out here that have a really hard time making those cute little babies. They are certainly a blessing, and I know you aren’t saying they aren’t… sometimes remembering that your job is a blessing and something a lot of woman desire (and can’t always have) does help you to remember to be grateful for every moment of non-peace, every temper tantrum, every cold or sleepless night. In my eyes you have the best job in the world and I would love to be in the same shoes! Many hugs.

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