inspiredness TM

Copyright 2013


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What is time?

The-Passage-of-Time

The following comes from the mind of my amazing husband, Mark Sole. He posted this tonight as a status update on his personal Facebook page but he frequently posts similar things to his public page, Mark Sole – Life On Fire.

What is time? Is it a measuring stick to complete our appointed tasks? Or is it a collection of instances, or memories? I believe time can stand still. I have seen it, felt it, witnessed it. The most common occurrence being when I hold one of our babies as they fall asleep. It is an escape, really, from this world. For an instant, there is nothing else. Only HEARTBEATS…and BREATHING. Maybe the creak of the rocking chair. So warm, safe, comforting, and loved we both are in that instant.

Some of us do not have pleasant memories. This world is messy. Some moments, time can stand still in the pain, suffering, rage, anger, depression, and hopelessness. Even though you may not believe, I believe for you, that there is a loving Savior standing right there with us, in the midst of the hurt.

I have been reading a lot lately. Mostly personal development, leadership development, and health. My reason is simple, I want to be better at what I do. I want to get deep into people’s lives and love them. I want change to burst forth from their hearts. I want to show them that walking the narrow road is not easy nor am I perfect, but I want them to do it WITH me. I am on a quest to continually create ACTION in my life and my family’s life, so that we may love others more. But all the leadership books, all the motivational speakers, all the audio and seminars cannot trump the most important thing I hold on to…God‘s promise to us found in the Bible.

If you want to see what love really is, it is action. Because in one instant, God’s son, Jesus, died, in our place, out of love for us, so that we might trust in Him and live. LOVE became ACTION. I know many of you do not feel the same way I do. You do not believe this really happened, or what really happened that instant. And that is OK. BUT what I do know it this. Even though we may operate by time, and “time is all we have.” GOD has more than that. And He wants you. And He is knocking. And He will wait for you to be ready.

I truly love everyone. I believe we are all created in the image of God. I also believe God has a very specific plan for all our lives, and how He uses TIME may be different for you than for me. I know there will come a time, when you will open that door, and take that chance to let Him in. I don’t know when it will be. But I do know that in that moment of pain, hurting, suffering, anger, frustration, and hopelessness, He will be there. He will NOT fail you. And time will stop. And Love will feel like two things…

Heartbeats…and breathing

 


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Anger…

English: A metaphorical visualization of the w...

has a stronghold on my heart and it has for some time. Why? I am finally coming to terms with this but, really it’s quite scary. I’m finding out things about myself that I probably didn’t want to find out…I’ve repressed so much.

Am I really angry or is this a mask for the fear that I feel?

Scared that I’ll be rejected for who I am, scared that I won’t be loved, scared that who I am isn’t acceptable, scared that I will be abandoned. All this fear in my soul started at a very young age, I’m sure. I could go places with this that I really don’t want to, so I won’t. Who am I to blame any one person for this? It is, what it is. We are all sinners, we all have our fears and insecurities.

This is who I am but who’s to say that the Lord can’t change my heart? That process is also frightening and a vulnerable place to be.

I am angry that I am constantly being demanded of…I’m scared that I won’t be able to give what needs to be received.

I am angry when I don’t get time to myself to be myself…I’m scared that who I am won’t be listened to or will be flat-out rejected.

How do I get over this?

Pray.

Lord, this place that I’m coming from is not a happy place…not right now. Help me to see that only You can truly change my heart, that You aren’t out to get me. Help me to see that You love me, cherish me just the way I am; that You won’t reject me; that You are always listening to me even when I’m not making much sense to myself. Help me with my anger, my fear and use these emotions to somehow better my relationships and further Your Kingdom.

Amen.